Tuesday, April 15, 2014

'Hate this fucking world...': DC's select international male escorts for the month of April 2014


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Toujourssafe, 22
Paris

I'm IVAN, young and handsome, large size without complexs

I like doing everything with a delicious smooth ski

☛ Kisses
☛ Suck
☛ Get sucked
☛ Fuck
☛ Get fucked

For pretentious gentlemen only

Dicksize XL, Cut
Position Versatile
Kissing Yes
Fucking Versatile
Oral Versatile
Dirty Yes
Fisting Active
S&M Soft SM only
Fetish Leather, Sportsgear, Skater, Rubber, Underwear, Skins & Punks, Boots, Lycra, Uniform, Formal dress, Techno & Raver, Sneakers & Socks, Jeans, Drag, Worker
Client age Users older than 21
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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mimi, 21
Zurich

i just landed on the market from italy...if u want to feel the taste of superwild let me know...if u r looking some kind of wild, hardcore n unbearable sex let me know...coz i cant explain myself with wording

Dicksize L, Uncut
Position Versatile
Kissing Consent
Fucking More bottom
Oral Versatile
Dirty WS only
Fisting Active
S&M Soft SM only
Fetish Leather, Sportsgear, Skater, Rubber, Underwear, Skins & Punks, Boots, Lycra, Uniform, Formal dress, Techno & Raver, Sneakers & Socks, Jeans, Drag, Worker
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour 300 Euros
Rate night 1200 Euros



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sweetboylondon, 21
Farnborough

HI I NEED HELP PLEASE HELP FOR MY MOTHER IN CANCER PATIENT PLEASE ANY HELP THANKS

I NEDD HELP urgently looking for a room from now on to live together or separately II'm search room now to live Pay money or sex

Dicksize M, Uncut
Position More bottom
Kissing Yes
Fucking More bottom
Oral Versatile
Dirty No
Fisting Active
S&M Soft SM only
Fetish Leather, Sportsgear, Underwear, Formal dress, Jeans
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour 100 Pounds
Rate night 350 Pounds



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Rippleeffect,19
La roche-sur-Yon

You just be kind I'll be only too happy, then we will be friends. I am very discreet and my pictures are not regulated somehow.

Dicksize XL, Uncut
Position More bottom
Kissing Consent
Fucking More bottom
Oral Versatile
Dirty WS only
Fisting Active / passive
S&M Yes
Fetish Leather, Sportsgear, Skater, Rubber, Skins & Punks, Boots, Uniform, Techno & Raver, Sneakers & Socks, Jeans, Worker
Client age Users between 20 and 30
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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expensiveboy, 23
Sremska Mitrovica, Serbia

HIRE ME BUT DONT FUCK ME. IF YOU INTERESTED GODBLESS.

switzerland.nescafe.riding bike.die antwoord.vinjak. cartography.berlin.cats.nirvana. skins.shameless.free minded people.atheism.video games. rollercoaster.amy winehouse. green eyes.ww2.black nails. tumblr.haled hoseini.spiders.my little hometown.sarcasm.zürich. russian.cara delevingne.rabbits.

you can fuck yourself all day all night.

NEXT STOP FRANKFURT.

Dicksize L, Cut
Position Top only
Kissing Consent
Fucking No
Oral No
Dirty No
Fisting No
S&M No
Fetish Leather, Rubber, Underwear, Formal dress, Sneakers & Socks, Jeans, Worker
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour 2000 Dollars
Rate night 4000 Dollars



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Crasssssh, 22
Barcelona

I need to come tomorrow in Barcelona....I bought ticket on tomorrow plane,I'm from romania,city galati...But I don't have enough money to go to Bucharest to take the plane to Barcelona ...I need 50 € more..I come in Barcelona because i will have a new job there...I am looking for someone that can really help me...you can help me? Tell me what you like and let's do that. Or I can give you more than what you want.

Dicksize No entry, Cut
Position No entry
Kissing No entry
Fucking No entry
Oral No entry
Dirty No entry
Fisting No entry
S&M No entry
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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mysteriously1, 22
Milan

Not to spoil the mystery

Dicksize No entry, Cut
Position Versatile
Kissing No entry
Fucking No entry
Oral No entry
Dirty No entry
Fisting No entry
S&M No entry
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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kleinGeldJunge, 20
Erfurt

U need a hot session and friendly date with ESCORT?Hm forget it.Cuz I'm not ESCORT!I'm kleinGeldJunge aka the hot Guy 4 u,in bed. No problem to cum.If u'r a Gentleman we have it. Then i give my full personality. I temperament and advice we will enjoy.Hey this is first class business.

Dicksize L, Uncut
Position Versatile
Kissing Yes
Fucking Bottom only
Oral Top
Dirty WS only
Fisting No
S&M Soft SM only
Fetish Underwear, Sneakers & Socks, Jeans
Client age Users younger than 42
Rate hour 100 Euros
Rate night 350 Euros



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like_a_twink90, 24
Berlin

Hi I am come from Macedoina and I won't lie. I need money the fastest way. I tell the truth so contact me.

I like to have sex as in movies.....start with soft smooches n kiss.....follow with deep tongue kiss for long......then slowly removing the cloths of partner...feeling the heat of each part.....then to sleep nude touching every part of partner....cock fondling....sucking and fucking and someone rim my ass.

I am looking for friendship as well so keep in touch with me forever.

Dicksize L, Uncut
Position More bottom
Kissing No
Fucking More bottom
Oral Bottom
Dirty No
Fisting No
S&M No
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour 150 Euros
Rate night 500 Euros



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MisterEyeCandy, 21
Tokyo

i like all types of sex hardcore,dirty smootching, kissing, licking, get deep anal fucking..etc. fuck me hard n make my hole loose... then u can try fisting me with u r hand too.. u can use me like a bitchwat ever u want u can use like that. is there any1. don't take long time to think.

Dicksize No entry, Cut
Position More bottom
Kissing Yes
Fucking Bottom only
Oral Top
Dirty No entry
Fisting No entry
S&M No entry
Client age Users between 18 and 56
Rate hour 600 Dollars
Rate night 2500 Dollars



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FuckYouHard, 21
Marseille

'm a great guy and I will fuck the shit out of you with all the force that I have

Dicksize XXL, Cut
Position Top only
Kissing Consent
Fucking Top only
Oral Top
Dirty Yes
Fisting Active
S&M No entry
Fetish Leather, Sportsgear, Skater, Rubber, Underwear, Skins & Punks, Boots, Lycra, Uniform, Formal dress, Techno & Raver, Sneakers & Socks, Jeans, Drag, Worker
Client age Users younger than 49
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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TopMeNow, 18
Regensburg

AMERICAN BOY (English bitte) Please do not write without reading first. And I 100% will not answer any questions to a faceless fat, belly, stocky old Bear. 18 to 40 but it also depends if you fit what I like to see next to me in my BED! Okay! I had to change my writing here! If you are looking older then my dad who every one we meet thinks he is my big brother then you should not waste your time if you look like you can be my father and not big brother! I am only trying to make extra money for School. But I am not so desperate , to just hop into bed with anyone! I try being nice and answer back but I will ignore you until you read and did what you must do first!

Dicksize L, Cut
Position Bottom only
Kissing Consent
Fucking No entry
Oral No entry
Dirty No
Fisting No
S&M No
Fetish Skater, Underwear, Jeans
Client age Users between 18 and 40
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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lowcost, 20
Brussels

This is the first time that I do it. I need fast money so my friend told to me about this profile. I had a problem and I could get it faster.

You know how much I want for one hour. This is real and serious.

I am going to choose just normal people. I don't live as escort life, just two or three men and later I delete this profile.

I don't know how to define me but I am not a latin or brazilian guy. I am an european guy with you can talk about one normal conversation.

Dicksize No entry, Cut
Position No entry
Kissing No entry
Fucking Top only
Oral No entry
Dirty No entry
Fisting No entry
S&M No entry
Client age Users between 28 and 70
Rate hour 190 Euros
Rate night 450 Euros



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roman18, 18
Prague

Dont know what to say.im 18.just came to prague.im here.

Dicksize No entry, Uncut
Position Versatile
Kissing Yes
Fucking Versatile
Oral Versatile
Dirty No
Fisting Active
S&M Yes
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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Mess, 23
Rotterdam

well where do i begin i am 23 i am post suicidal i hate my body with a passion i cut (i am not ashamed of my scars) i have ad.hd (attention deficit hyperactive disorder) depression epilepsy odd (oppositional defiance disorder) that's right i am so mentally fucked up you could abuse me and i wouldn't care but yet i like to help people out

Dicksize M, Uncut
Position Bottom only
Kissing No
Fucking Bottom only
Oral Top
Dirty No
Fisting No
S&M Yes
Fetish Leather, Rubber, Uniform, Formal dress
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour 130 Euros
Rate night 600 Euros



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sUcKaNdFuCkPrOjEkT, 19
Pasadena

if u need big tool then m worried that u make ur hloe big too... so i will fuck u so passionately n make u feel good with giving u ur hole increasement

Dicksize L, Uncut
Position Top only
Kissing Yes
Fucking Top only
Oral Top
Dirty Yes
Fisting No entry
S&M No entry
Fetish Leather, Formal dress, Jeans
Client age Users between 25 and 54
Rate hour 6000 Dollars
Rate night 22000 Dollars



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kindersurprise, 18
Budapest

i'm just Ok.

hope you know the meaning for escort.

i come. you pay. i go on my knees. you fuck SAFE. and it's done. i go.

one night stand is much better than blah blah...

Dicksize No entry, Cut
Position No entry
Kissing No entry
Fucking No entry
Oral No entry
Dirty No entry
Fisting No entry
S&M No entry
Fetish No entry
Client age Users younger than 60
Rate hour 300 Euros
Rate night 1000 Euros



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CrazyHairDresser, 23
Köln

My ass waiting 4 your lips touchlips, tongue, come and lick it, touch it, fingers deep, 1,2,3.,do not hesitate, more fingers, then lick, lick fingers, suck myhole,whole tongue inside,funn , kissing it ,embrace it,(hug) it,licking my ass...fucked.party,crushed pills inside,beerwine, enema,drink it,swallowme shit, more more,pi,shit ,eat myshit,eat my ass mess clean,fuck again,lick,fingers deepin it,five, come on!!!,get it in, youcan, youcan(!),fist fist, wreck it,fuck my wrecked hole,eat itout more, fuck fuck me, tongue suckit,fuck fist eatfuck eat fill it,fillfill it,eat yrcum, eat it out ofme, eat it,eatme, feed!!!! feed!!!!!!!!. much funn and nice time together

Dicksize No entry, Cut
Position Bottom only
Kissing Consent
Fucking Bottom only
Oral Bottom
Dirty WS only
Fisting Passive
S&M Soft SM only
Fetish Skater
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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So-fucking_hot, 25
London

Hate this fucking world...

Dicksize XL, Cut
Position More top
Kissing Consent
Fucking Top only
Oral Top
Dirty Yes
Fisting Active
S&M Yes
Fetish Leather, Sportsgear, Skater, Rubber, Underwear, Skins & Punks, Boots, Lycra, Uniform, Formal dress, Techno & Raver, Sneakers & Socks, Jeans, Drag, Worker
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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ForYourEntertainment, 20
Boston

Is this cock big enough for ya?” I looked at it. It was certainly medium-sized, and not skinny. I wasn’t sure if it had been a rhetorical question, like when people say “hot enough for ya?” or if he expected a thought-out response. I was momentarily confused, looking at his wielded appendage. “Yes,” I replied, with certainty. It was big enough for me.

Dicksize L, Uncut
Position Versatile
Kissing Yes
Fucking Versatile
Oral Bottom
Dirty WS only
Fisting Active / passive
S&M Soft SM only
Fetish Underwear, Lycra, Uniform, Formal dress, Jeans, Drag
Client age Users between 27 and 99
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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SadomasoFilmAndMore, 18
Rastatt

movie Plot
- you horny bastard spit on your cock and cum before
- push your horny dirty cock slid into the maul of the slave me-
The needle - disaster
Urinary bladder emptying in Facesitting
- Kotze on breakfast bread
Bubbles Bubbles Bubbles
- Dick massage and eggs clapping
Eggs kicks
- kv scart puke spit licking spit cum popel
Educate me poor and humble- we have fun on it
Fist in my ass
length 50 to 60minutes and cost 25euro
After payment is made online link
Meeting will take place in Rastatt extensively.
accurate directions on request.
Criminal activity in all profiles listing mobile numbers 6930903060 and 6930865204.

Dicksize L, Uncut
Position Versatile
Kissing Yes
Fucking Versatile
Oral Versatile
Dirty Yes
Fisting Active / passive
S&M Yes
Fetish Leather
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour ask
Rate night ask



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xPop44, 19
Nantes

My attitude is like a mirror. It's up to you really.

My price includes - internet, bathroom, washing machine, kitchen, dishwasher, oven, etc

Dicksize M, Cut
Position No entry
Kissing Yes
Fucking Bottom only
Oral Top
Dirty WS only
Fisting No
S&M No
Client age No restrictions
Rate hour 100 Euros
Rate night 300 Euros




*

p.s. Hey. ** Kiddiepunk, Hi, Kp! Top of the French morning! Let's talk and do an in-person soon! ** Kevin Killian, Greetings, sire! Hi, Kevin! Oh, you speaking about Tony Greene! How my mind wanders and regrets its physical location inside my Paris-bound body upon hearing about that incredible meeting of mind and matter! Will your talk/text end up anywhere? I miss Tony. It's been so incredibly heartening to see his work being (re)discovered and appreciated of late. Yes, for sure, I'll pass along ... Everyone, and more particularly those of you in reach of Chicago, the great Kevin Killian will be there at Iceberg Projects on April 19th, i.e. 4 days from today, to speak about the work of the late artist Tony Greene, a superb artist who died young of AIDS -- and who was a dear friend of mine as well as a favorite artist -- in the context of an exhibition of Tony's and others' work  Not only that, but he'll also be reading from his brand new book of poems, 'Tweaky Village', which is an event in and of itself not to mention a book that you need to possess and read. Anyway, if you're in that vicinity and don't go see Kevin/Tony, you're nuts. Here is the info on the event, and here is where you can read about and order Kevin's book. I would so love and revere a copy of 'TV'. Thank you, Kevin, and I hope SF is treating you as splendidly as P is treating me. ** David Ehrenstein, Hi, David! ** Kyler, Hi, bud. 'Dostoyevsky first!' Ha ha, why not? ** Zach, Hi! Farm? Nice, or seemingly so. Did you do farm things there, and, if so, was it willingly and wantonly or were chores the price you had to pay to imbibe some pastoral input? Oh, right, I remember that now, the hot chocolate, even the shaving, and of course the waking up. Hard to believe, no? ** Slatted Light, Hi, David! Interesting, very interesting, about the Morris. What you say makes utter sense. Yeah, I'll hope to see it one way or another soon, and I'll share what it does to me with you once I have. Yeah, that's fascinating. Ha ha, yes, they did seem to win the day, or certainly in the US and the western part of Europe at least. At least in the area of tone, and at least they enlarged the fringes, or force-created a porn fringe where there hadn't been one before. Interesting that the porn fringe is so much larger than the fringe of art or film or book/fiction. Hm, I'm not sure that my thinking about sexual exploration and gender representation in my work was heavily affected by the contemporaneous thinking, discussion, and flow on those issues. I mean, I was certainly aware of and interested in feminist critique and, I guess, post-feminist and early/pre-queer critique re: those areas, but I don't recall what impact my readings and discussions, etc., had on my work's development of those things. Whether that means the effect was slight, or whether it's a matter of how scattered/focused/absorbent my brain is when I'm studying and learning and seeking influence from things out there, I don't know. It's often really hard to for me to pinpoint sources because my mind does this kind of multi-tasking, stew-making thing when I'm thinking about my work in a conceptually external way. Yeah, I mean, I think it's fair to say I'm pro-porn in a general sense. Or, I don't know, 'pro', hm, I guess so. I don't know that it's a value judgement or side-taking thing. You know me, I have a hard time thinking about things in categorical groups except when I'm called upon to do so, or when I call upon myself to take a stand re: stuff that has been officially categorized, whereupon that category is therefore a necessary evil/term that I feel I need to adopt to participate in a public discourse and/or take a stand one way or another in a political sense, at which point, sure, pro-porn works. There was a sex-radical feminism being talked and performed and used as a tool of reinvention in LA at that time as well, but, as things go in LA, it was evidenced more in the art and performance and music and zines and texts circulating locally than something that crystalized and got out in a way that would have made it useful or cogent beyond the scene. As far as what anti-porn critiques stuck with me, I don't recall specifics. I was very involved at that time in working out my own notions of how to represent sex and sexual power relations in the specific context in which I wanted to work within my work, and my memory has it that most of not all of the critiques I was paying attention to addressed male-female representation, and that the most fruitful thing to come from my reading and study of that was to help me clarify the difference I was going for in my attempt to represent a, hm, fair (?) male-male sexual act and dynamic. So, I think it was likely a matter of urging me closer and more accurately towards my idea of representing bodies as flawed mirror reflections or clones that could erase as much as possible everything to do with sexual representation that wasn't personal, subjective, emotional, and fantasy-based, if that makes any sense. Does it? Thank you so much raising all that and involving me, it's such a great pleasure and push. Excellent day to you, D. ** Sypha, Hi, James. Wow, that is a long week. I was thinking mine is going to be a long one 'cos I have so much work and research and meetings and stuff to do, but I think mine will be a piece of cake, relatively speaking. Good luck with all of that, and let me/us know how it all goes. ** Tosh Berman, Golden words, my friend! Thank you! ** les mots dans le nom, Hi. Wow, cool, about that Paris cafe having said coffee. I think I'll go order some as soon as this evening. Thank you! Sorry about not remembering your vegan-ness. Doing the p.s. has this weird blurring effect on my memory sometimes. Apologies. My week's a busy one too. High five from busy me to busy you in advance. ** Dan, Hi, Dan! The meeting with Amanda was a lot of fun. She's really great, as you already know. I'll go look for your email. Thanks, pal, and I hope is great with you. ** Brendan, Hi, big B! ** Torn porter, Hi! Yeah, I didn't see your message until I had already planned up my Sunday to death, or, well, to life but a jam-packed life. How long is Ratty here again? I'm sure we can find a day. Maybe Thursday? ** Steevee, Hi, Steve. Terrific review and interview the other day! Of course, very best of luck with the blood test. That Romanian film does sound really, really interesting. ** Paul Curran, Paul! Thank you, sir! I sure hope that mess/delay thing is a tiny one. Such a happy occasion! There are no words! ** Schlix, Hi, Uli. Ah, mostly the earlier stuff. I mean, you can't go wrong with Bresson. I would say 'A Man Escaped' might be my favorite of his earlier films. Excepter! Never seen them live. Very cool. Plus Black to Comm! Nice gig. Envy. If you remember, let me know how it was. ** Schoolboyerrors, Hey! Whoa, it's really sweet to see you back underneath your dear old moniker. I'm good, really good, thanks! And you, if I may be so bold? ** Tender prey, Hi, Marc! Did I already tell you what an incredibly awesome cover that is? If not, or even if so, dude, it kills, in the best and most humane way. ** Misanthrope, That was a ... nice, hm, okay, maybe not nice ... story. A ... potent, insinuating story. I liked the blue a lot. The squirrel thing had a nice Sherlock Holmes thing going on, poor thing. Yeah, I'm happy to have that story under my belt. Belt? Under my ... headband? ** Rewritedept, Hi. Okay, I'll try 'Zoolander' sometime. I'm okay with Will Ferrell. I don't rush out to see his movies very often if ever, but, yeah, he's pretty funny, sure. Colbert? I've only watched clips here and there. Don't know. He seems funny. I'm not a huge comedy guy, as you might gather, so I don't keep up with those guys very much, or not over here where I can't just turn on the TV and zone with Colbert or whoever doing his or her thing in the space in front of my face. My day was good. Worked on the new theater piece with Gisele and Jonathan Capedeville for most of the day then had a lovely visit and movie project-related tete-a-tete with Zac. The writing is going well, yes, thank you for asking. And yours? I know what jk is, for whatever reason. Interesting choice: well, because, I don't know, I guess I always think it's interesting when people go for an escort who isn't blatantly cute or hot in the 'normal' ways. ** Okay. Mid-month, escort post. Like clockwork. Do with them as you see fit, and I'll wipe the slate clean with something new tomorrow.

Monday, April 14, 2014

Please welcome to the world on the day of its birth ... Paul Curran Left Hand (2014)





CCM Design by Michael J Seidlinger
Cover Painting by Marc Hulson



"Left Hand is every reason why Paul Curran is one of the smartest, most daring, meticulous, violent, delicate, awe-inspiring new fiction chiselers in the known world, if you ask me. His work has been a huge favorite of lucky insiders like me for years, and now the secret is finally and definitely out." -- Dennis Cooper.

"With Left Hand, Paul Curran has written something so different that reading it will make your eyes burn." -- Matthew Stokoe.

"Stop the psychotic qualitative self-deception of childhood as Henry Miller, Paul Curran's Left Hand ordered a mandragora sex. It is a cyber ploy plausible to deal with Georges Bataille's supreme life anyway, this literary alcohol than ecstasy drugs cruel image of Antonin Artaud's formalin fixed heart that heresy novel is formed on the eroticism cause of supremacy he was attached to the soul of Jean Genet's sexual literature manual of the internet through perversion strong language. -- Kenji Siratori.

"I experienced half of it not even thinking of it as a novel, but as a series of instructions whispered to me from my darkest and most reclusive self, a man I don’t like being very often. As a manual for how to go mad, Left Hand will find its own audience, but I urge discriminating readers to seek it out and read it with the utmost care and patience: slowly it unveils and embodies what happens when a sensitive mind, scarred by the sins of the fathers and the 'acid rain' of today’s neoliberal globalism, revolts by letting his genitals control what’s left of him after the cutting. We've all gone there to one degree or another, but only rarely, perhaps not since the death of Brigid Brophy, has so fine a mind allowed us access to all ten circles of hell. Or meta-hell: 'I go to this novel’s funeral, sit on a hard chair, and observe the casket entering flames.'" -- Kevin Killian.

"Like most fogged and drug-coated apathetic worlds, Paul Curran's Left Hand begins by playing into our assumptions of the consequences of narrative violence and unpoliced desire. But as we proceed, unraveling takes hold and all perceptions of ordered identity, even the state of the novel, explode into a slowly undulating chaos. The reader is erupted, returned, through amputation and orgasm into a new site of beginning. I felt afraid in welcome, unprecedented ways." -- Cassandra Troyan.

"From extreme to extreme the balance is fleeting. A select few recognize the balance that lives between the extremes of good and bad. Such moments ought to be cherished. Moments of clarity offer a glimpse into the future. Depending on the strength of the eyes those fleeting glimpses can determine an entire life. Sometimes a future can flash before a person's eyes. Unfortunately most people tend to blink." --  Beach Sloth.

"The narrator appears to be at war with the thing he's been designated to create, taking part in real-life scenes as close to those we've been commanded to perform. It is almost as if the narrator has been enslaved to his creation, forced to recreate things that should have never had a life. By the end, everything is so fucked it doesn't even feel fucked anymore, and the private life of the narrator doesn't seem strange either. It creates a truly terrifying feeling—recognizing that you've forgotten not to relate to what the book would have you do, which is maybe the rarest sort of power." --  Blake Butler, Vice.




Twenty years ago I went back to university to study writing, won a short-story competition and then a scholarship to do my masters. The manuscript I wrote was short-listed for the Queensland Premier's Literary Awards, got interest from several agents, but was rejected by all mainstream Australian publishers. While living in Japan in the early 2000s, I wrote another novel that my agent rejected and then I rewrote the first one. I was based in London by then, and after my agent rejected the rewrites, I sent it to every agent there and they also rejected it. So, around 2006, inspired and encouraged by new internet writing, and particularly the community gathered around this blog, I decided to start something completely new.

Left Hand consists of four interlinked sections. There's two parallel sets of second-person imperatives based on command hallucinations, advertisements, or song lyrics (Left Hand/A Tower of Limbs). These are like columns that the other sections move around and bleed into. The first instruction section runs linear, and the second runs as a broken reflection of the first. Both sets are divided into 21 parts made up of five blocks (1-5) of five instructions (a-e) that are ten words. In several notebooks, I outlined both sections with 10 instructions (a-j) as a paragraph each and then cut five lines from the final list using a random number generator. While following this procedure, I also wrote notes in the margins or across the pages, anything I was thinking about at the time, memories, comments, observations, processes, distractions, and then wrote these up and mixed them with research papers and violent porn descriptions into a 100,000 word document. I scrambled the document by cutting and pasting at random into a new document. Then I used two different translation programs to translate the fragments into Japanese and then back into English. Finally, I edited and rewrote the whole thing as a 10,000 word first-person meta-monologue (Obscure Distortion Organ). I wrote the last section (Scatter), which is third person, straight onto the computer with minimum notes after completing the other three sections.

I finished the manuscript of Left Hand in 2012 and sent it to Civil Coping Mechanism. They got back to me within 24 hours and offered to publish it. Marc Hulson, who I met through this blog, agreed to paint something for the cover and also asked me to collaborate on a project for Five Years Gallery. Part of that collaboration featured covers of previous editions of Left Hand mentioned in the novel.


Paul Curran (Tokyo, April 2014)













EXCERPTS


from LEFT HAND


1.1.

a) Perch with your feet on either side of the bathtub.

b) Stare at your cock getting hard through the rising steam.

c) Hear your lungs sucking in the most air they can.

d) Exhale and then thrust your mouth down at your cock.

e) Slip under the water hitting your head and pass out.



1.2.

a) Catch your reflection in the cracked mirror above the sink.

b) Taste the bathroom steam mix with the hallway's thick dampness.

c) Look at Alex slumped on your bed shooting up heroin.

d) Hear yourself asking Alex about the money he owes you.

e) Listen to Alex describe the English language course he joined.



1.3.

a) Smell Alex's hair as his mouth slurps on your cock.

b) Let go of the curtain hanging broken from your window.

c) Taste some blood that you noticed on your left hand.

d) Watch your hand pushing Alex's head away from your cock.

e) Shut the door behind Alex and collapse onto your bed.



1.4.

a) This line has been left blank for no particular reason.

b) Wake up to the sound of a phone ringing somewhere.

c) See the words left hand printed deep inside your brain.

d) Lean back in your chair when you smell your manager.

e) Watch your manager saying there is blood on your collar.



1.5.

a) Spy on a woman in the window behind your office.

b) Feel the head of your cock glide between your teeth.

c) Smell the carpet below your desk after you fall down.

d) Remember Alex calling heroin the only cure for jet lag.

e) Unravel a note that you found in Alex's coat pocket.



2.1

a) Click on a Japanese schoolgirl masturbating in a navy uniform.

b) Taste honey in your throat when her limbs are amputated.

c) Look up when you notice a student approaching the counter.

d) Watch the student's eyes and say the manager is out.

e) Ask your colleague if she can answer the student’s questions.



2.2.

a) Stand in front of your mirror sniffing a schoolgirl uniform.

b) Lay the mirror on your bed and become a schoolgirl.

c) Watch the schoolgirl in the mirror fucking a Coke bottle.

d) Feel the Coke bottle rip the inside of your asshole.

e) Taste soap on your lips and collapse onto the mirror.



2.3.

a) Tap your keyboard until two words appear on the screen.

b) Say the words left hand to yourself in your head.

c) Change the font from Times New Roman to Courier New.

d) Increase the font size until each word takes one line.

e) Put the words in bold and italics before deleting them.



2.4.

a) Feel a layer of sweat and deodorant covering your body.

b) Take your left hand off your mouse and bite it.

c) Realize that your computer screen has swirled into tunnel vision.

d) Try to touch the words coming from your colleague's mouth.

e) Listen to your chair swiveling around as you stand up.



2.5.

a) Hear the sound of your shoulder barging the toilet door.

b) Breathe in the mix of bleached come and air freshener.

c) Smell your invisible left hand in front of your face.

d) Turn on the hot water tap and taste the water.

e) Look at the water running through your invisible left hand.



3.1.

a) Order a Double Whopper meal at Burger King in Westfield.

b) Go into the Disney store and touch the stuffed toys.

c) Listen to women trying on lingerie in different changing rooms.

d) See a customer pointing you out to a security guard.

e) Look at the security guard asking you to follow him.



3.2.

a) Walk into Central Bar and order a glass of vodka.

b) Take a mobile phone off the counter and call Alex.

c) Look at the phone and say you quit your job.

d) Listen to the traffic going through the Holland Park roundabout.

e) See a schoolgirl in uniform getting off a 94 bus.



3.3.

a) Suck on the last piece of ice in your glass.

b) Breathe in deeply and rub your cock through your pocket.

c) Hear a horn blasting the schoolgirl across Shepherd's Bush Green.

d) Catch the scent of her white panties as she walks.

e) Hide behind a tree when she looks over her shoulder.



3.4.

a) Listen to the schoolgirl calling to you on Goldhawk Road.

b) Inhale her vanilla perfume as she turns down an alley.

c) Grab her hair and kiss her mouth until she resists.

d) Push her to her knees and pull out your cock.

e) Squeeze her throat and fuck her hard in the mouth.



3.5.

a) Lick your lips then hear footsteps coming down the alley.

b) Glance around realizing your cock has left the schoolgirl's mouth.

c) Smell garbage as the schoolgirl's head hits a brick wall.

d) Catch a taste of her panties as she slumps down.

e) Watch the come spurt from your cock onto her legs.





from OBSCURE DISTORTION ORGAN 


To stop this novel occurring from this motel room is impossible. I go with a girl. We meet a boy. There is sexual intercourse with glass on the floor in a broken pharmacy. A police officer discovers my dead body in the back of a stolen van. The police officer shoots at my dead body. The girl is driving the van. I want to murder the boy. But I think it would be easier to murder the girl. So I try to murder the girl, even though I am already dead, and the boy throws me onto the road. That is the end of this novel.


 *** 


I leave my father's remains in a glass case at a strip club and catch a flight to London, shouting drunken methods in an Indonesian bar during a layover on the way, or when I get to Europe in a hostel somewhere east of Prague, where the owner says medicine rather than method has been inserted into your writing. It is no remedy, I reply, and orgasmic childhood psychosis is not self-deception, but if stopped and ordered to ask, alcohol is a plausible ruse for coping with life, and anyway this novel is stronger than medicine because of the heart images formed through fictional masturbation. When the owner asks me to pay, I tell him my money to get high will come from the directors of several multinational companies who intentionally republish this novel in its current unrecognizable form.


***


London summer is a bone-hot tombstone deceased under where I walk. I arrive as a prostitute accompanied by internet instructions about illegal student immigration. Anyone speaking natural English will confuse the authorities. Language draws up substances lacking actuality, and desire is more easily pursued with confidence when you can blend into the crowd. I work in an ex-curtain factory on Uxbridge Road. I stand in a corner of Shepherd’s Bush Green. A mysterious telephone call on an abrupt slow night possesses enough doubt to deceive what guides me. Her shoes. Her husband. The absence of a pulse. At a sewerage plant, near where they used to make cars, I walk across rusted pipes churning out shit and mulched up paper and enter an abandoned factory converted into apartments now derelict and possibly being used as some kind of theatrical space. I join what appears to be the audience participating in an unrealistic performance of a courtroom situation until my attention implodes and I slink under the floorboards. Other things happen after that. I become another person completely.





from A TOWER OF LIMBS


1.1.

a) Hear the beat moving and vibrating down through your intestines.

b) Squint at a glitter ball reflecting racks of colored light.

c) Taste sulphur and sweat that has dried and come back.

d) Watch people talking and laughing crowded around tables and booths.

e) Feel the music circling through your ass and your cunt.



1.2.

a) Notice a man and a woman dancing on a stage.

b) Look at the woman sucking on the man's soft cock.

c) See yourself in a mirror tied up to a pole.

d) Watch the man trying to fuck the woman from behind.

e) Bite at and chew on the material covering your mouth.



1.3.

a) Watch the man spraying his cock to get it hard.

b) Try to squeeze your hands out of some wrist straps.

c) Look at the woman grabbing and pulling the man’s hair.

d) Clutch onto the pole and try to yank it out.

e) See the man throwing the woman down on her back.



1.4.

a) Twist the wrist straps around until your hands are numb.

b) Look at the man pissing on the woman's shaved head.

c) See the woman scratching and then punching the man’s face.

d) Watch the man strangle the woman until she goes limp.

e) Look at the man wanking and coming on the woman.



1.5.

a) Choke yourself jerking forward on the strap around your neck.

b) Gag on the vomit back-washed through your mouth and nose.

c) Feel and hear the screams coming out of your throat.

d) Watch people talking and laughing crowded around tables and booths.

e) Close your eyes and fade into the music guiding you.



2.1.

a) Hear the music stop and see the lights go down.

b) Track a spotlight and listen to a voice saying welcome.

c) Feel yourself being lowered into a chair with leg stirrups.

d) Listen to the voice explaining there are only two contestants.

e) Hear the voice saying the first to come inside wins.



2.2.

a) Reach past the spotlight to a crack in the wall.

b) Feel the crack move as the voice introduces the champion.

c) Listen to the champion strutting around the stage and clapping.

d) Look at people trying to order drinks at a bar.

e) See an assistant grabbing and dragging me onto the stage.



2.3.

a) Hear the assistant pinning me down and removing my clothes.

b) See the champion inspecting me through the mirror on stage.

c) Watch the champion wanking his cock and punching my face.

d) Look at the champion picking me up in the air.

e) Feel the champion slapping his cock up against your cunt.



2.4.
a) Listen to me crying as I wank over your reflection.

b) Tell me you want only my cock inside your cunt.

c) Feel the champion’s spit hitting your face and your breasts.

d) Look at your body wasted from drugs in the mirror.

e) Wince each time the champion punches me in the head.



2.5.

a) See the champion laughing and throwing me through the mirror.

b) Listen to me wanking my soft cock on the floor.

c) Feel the champion kicking your stomach and then choking you.

d) Watch me trying to get up but then falling down.

e) Notice your heart throbbing when you see me standing up.



3.1.

a) Hear the champion jump on me and fuck my ass.

b) Feel a gust and realize your left arm has gone.

c) Listen to me wanking my cock covered in your blood.

d) Watch the champion rubbing your cunt secretions on my face.

e) Feel another gust and realize your right arm has gone.



3.2.

a) Taste some morphine and see an assistant slapping your cheeks.

b) Look at the blood spurting out from your left hip.

c) Hear the champion sticking his cock into my droopy mouth.

d) Watch me bite the champion’s cock and swipe his feet.

e) Notice some people below the stage glancing up at us.



3.3.

a) Look at me picking up a piece of broken mirror.

b) Watch me stabbing the champion in the face and neck.

c) Feel the champion’s full weight collapse on top of you.

d) Listen to an assistant dragging the champion behind the stage.

e) See a different assistant inspecting your cunt with his tongue.



3.4.

a) Hear music blasting from speakers and then see lights spinning.

b) Watch me escape from the assistant who was holding me.

c) Feel my cock throbbing hard as I pump your cunt.

d) Taste the come spurting from my cock into your uterus.

e) Sense the come travelling up inside and around your body.



3.5.

a) Gaze at your headless and amputated torso on the stage.

b) Drift to the rooftop and breathe in the midnight air.

c) Feel the neon warmth of Bangkok Hong Kong Shanghai Tokyo.

d) Hear an airplane taking off and rumbling through the sky.

e) Catch your silhouette looking out from one of the windows.





from SCATTER 


Paul thought he had suffered a fatal brain injury but felt like he had entered a new reality and was experiencing everything for the first time. He predicted what he was going to see before he opened his eyes. There would be palm trees and seagulls and the ocean swelling along the same beach he had seen a million times before. But everything would be totally different. He felt calmer and more in control than he had ever felt in his life. The oscillating binaries of pain and desire had gone. His head had been wiped clear. The tide seemed to be connected to his breathing in an unselfconscious way. He doubted he could move even if he wanted to. He expected to be paralyzed at least.

- - - - -  When Paul looked at the road, time became unstuck and hurtled back into the present. He watched the van swerving away from him before it straightened up and settled into a comfortable pace. He could just make out Robert and Lucy huddled together through the dusty curtain across the back window and he held onto that image for a long as he could. He told himself it didn't bother him that they were together. It seemed to represent the correct order of things.
A road train coming from the mines in the desert ploughed head-on into the van. The impact ripped a hole through this new reality. The van crumpled and flipped into the air before landing on its side. A door came spinning off the van and skidded into a ditch covered with long dry grass. Everything went silent for a second after the crash then returned louder than before. Dragging sound out of every object present, the road train kept going. Paul stepped back as it lumbered past. The driver was focused straight ahead on something far beyond this plane of existence. The van was motionless. No one climbed out from the hole where the door used to be. The heat shimmered everything into a mirage.


*** 


 Paul smashed a bottle on a sewerage pipe. He gripped the neck of the broken bottle in one hand and his cock in the other. He staggered along the beach, stabbing the bottle at his chest and wanking his cock until it got hard. When he was about to come he shuddered to his knees and hacked into his cock with the broken bottle. The glass got halfway through and the come spurted out along with the blood. Ecstatic under the influence of the chemicals shooting through his body, and determined to enact their conclusion, Paul hacked the glass through the rest of the flesh until the whole thing came away.

- - - - -  After standing up and walking a few more steps, Paul looked back at the discarded lump of flesh lying there but couldn't comprehend that it had ever been connected to his body. It resembled a dead sea-creature washed up on the tide rather than the rare delicacy he once believed it to be, but of course those two analogies amounted to the same thing in the end. Paul felt voices somewhere in his head and realized the voices were telling him to keep going. The blood now pumping from where his cock used to be turned into flames between his fingers. He stared into the flames until he couldn't see or feel anything. His body became pieces of cinema film, burnt up and melted as he collapsed into the sand.





























































READING















Trailer by Bill Hsu
Paul Curran's Blog
Left Hand on Goodreads 
Left Hand on Amazon xxx


'Please note that all orders placed via Amazon and other sales channels will be fulfilled as per usual with little to no delay; however, due to a few errors, mainly to do with the unusually graphic content of the book, there were some hiccups and stalling between CCM and its printer. Because of these hiccups, the book is listed as unavailable or temporarily out of stock. Although, those issues have been cleared the after-effects of the delay can and will be seen in the next few days. Again, the effects are cosmetic and all orders will suffer little to no delay.' -- Civil Coping Mechanisms




*

p.s. Hey. Today is a great day for and on the blog if there ever was one. The amazing Paul Curran's fantastic novel Left Hand is, as of this morning, officially a published done deal. And, at my behest, Paul has very kindly put together this post to mark the occasion so that we can celebrate this ever so eminent arrival. Please give it a thorough read and going over today, and, obviously, place your finger(s) on the appropriate spot(s) and get yourselves a copy. You will be incredibly not sorry that you did. Thank you all, and huge thanks to Paul for letting the blog participate in his novel's awesome birth. ** Empty Frame, Hi. Thanks, pal. I don't know if Marc saw your comment, but I'm sure that I'm safe in saying that he would love it if you can make it to the launch. ** Aaron Mirkin, Thanks, Aaron. Yeah, it is a crazy gif, and how cool: the coincidence. Really excited to see your Xiu Xiu video. Does it have a launch date? Yeah, I totally agree about the simpatico thing between wrestling's narrative use and general context/build re: 'Hamlet'. Really, really inspired idea. I'm not sure if or specifically how the narrative style of pro-wrestling, and, I guess especially, its approach to 'the broadcast', effected my fiction, but I'm pretty sure it did. If I had my old notes here, I'd go back and check and probably find all kinds of ideas about that translation. I did take a little first look at Kevin Sheen, and I was suitably intrigued, and I've got a more detailed look into him and his thing set for later on. Ah, thanks for that direct link. I didn't see that before, and that's very cool! Ha ha, great story, and, yeah, I did really enjoy that. You rule. ** Rewritedept, Hi. The 4th boy down ... you mean the one who looks like the young Bret Easton Ellis? Interesting choice. Cool that you liked the neo-psych gig. That Lips track is a big favorite Lips track of mine as well. That album is so great in general. My weekend was good, mostly a lot of work and not a lot of outside stuff, but it was productive. Uh, I guess the boy who gave me his photo was a fan. It wasn't a slavish encounter. It was just casual and nice. I think I can completely assure you that he didn't want anonymous sex, and that would have been beyond the last thing on my mind. I'm not like that at all. Never seen 'Zoolander', no. Always been slightly curious to see what it is. Shit, I hope the DUI thing goes as smoothly as you hope it will. Yikes. ** Thomas Moronic, Hi, T! Thanks, buddy. Oh, shit, yeah, I'd be thrilled to bits if you want to do a Varioso post. I would be proud and really excited to see what you did with that form. I like that form, obviously. So, yeah, that would be amazing. It was your birthday! Belated, passionate HBD, man! What did you end up doing, if you don't mind my asking? ** Kier, Hi, K! Great, you are making art! I'm so happy to hear that! That's interesting about you having the inclination but maybe not the instinct. I think I know what you mean. I think that happens to me too, not infrequently. I think/believe that the instinct always comes back, and without warning often, and suddenly, and it's so weird when it does, and it's so weird how you can't control that or coerce it back into your talent. Strange stuff. But I bet one day, any minute now, that rush you feel when you know it's happening will take you over again. Glad your weekend was good. Mine was fine. May your Monday be even gooder. ** Paul Curran, The dude! What a great, momentous, historic day today, my friend! I'm really excited, and thank you really so much for letting this place take part. I did get your update emails, and I hope I added the things in appropriately. So, yeah, whoo-hoo! ** Dan Shea, Hi, Dan! Oh, wow, well then I hope I run into you somewhere. Cool. Yeah, the SFA had their kind of 'big moment', I guess, with 'Rings Around the World' winning the ... was it the Mercury Prize? I can't remember. And everybody I knew in LA was suddenly all into them for a while, and then that quieted, and now they just do their great thing less spot-lit. I suppose they're entering the 'legendary, respected elder influential band' era. Weird. ** Bill, Hi. Yeah, that running time was why my comment had a Bill-related warning sticker on it or whatever, ha ha. Thanks re: the post. Oh, that's an interesting idea. Huh, maybe I should assign escort photos to d.l.s who are interested and do a post of fictional ads/profiles. Hm, I might just do that. Thanks! ** les mots dans le nom, Hi. Ugandan coffee, ooh, I don't think I've ever had that. What is it specifically like? I've been a vegetarian unwaveringly since I was 16, so, yes, I still am. Are you? I forget. You're ... not, if I'm remembering correctly? Cool you liked the Frank Hinton story. Yeah, she's great, I think. ** Misanthrope, Cool, thanks. Mm, I think Pierre probably gives photos of himself as a regular thing when meeting people? Either that, or he was on his way from wherever he'd gotten them made coincidentally. No idea. I did in fact think of asking him if he wanted to audition for Zac's and my film, but I felt too shy, and now I regret it, but he's who-knows-where out in the world, so it's too late. I think I always try to go for something really different, and I think it always ends up being 'me' no matter how hard I push away because my thing/voice etc. are so specific. I don't know. Thanks, George. ** Steevee, Hi. Yeah, that photo is cool, right? That's too bad about your disappointment. I'm very curious to see it. I think that Sicinski comment about Morris is really off the mark. Anyway, thanks for your thoughts. When I see it, and if I remember, I'll do the same. ** _Black_Acrylic, Interesting about the Cellino. I know virtually squat about football, but I'm interested in entrepreneurs and their styles and modes of presentation, so I'll go have a look at him/it. I hope the jab today goes as well as something like that can go, and I hope the big window is cooperatively scenic. ** Kyler, Hi, K. Paul Curran's day is here! Nice that you're back in WSP, and that your initial two days had plus signs attached. Thanks for the nice words. Ah, the 3rd novel is in the offing! People say the 3rd novel is the key novel. Like that's where writers either become lifelong public writers with respect attached or fall by the wayside due to their tiredness re: the grind of writing and publishing versus the rewards. Or people say something like that. Off the top of my head, that makes a weird sense. You weren't rambling. Was that rambling? No, definitely not. ** Slatted light, Hi, David! Yeah, the original porn version was always a thing about sex utilizing a hardcore porn presentation to illustrate and make its point. I guess that's why the transition to something less lengthily explicit hasn't been so hard, at least in theory until we shoot it. I suspect that, had I made the film as a porn back then, the same thing might have happened. You know, unless I'm spacing out, which I do, I don't remember my work have much of any experience with anti-porn feminism. That early period of my books coincided with Bret Ellis's, and I think he and the greater prominence of his books pulled that kind of attention away from my stuff. The only experience like that which I can remember was from the anti-porn -- or, well, less anti-porn than anti-'non-positive'-porn PC queer contingent. I would love to read and answer your question if you ever find it or want to reconstruct it. Thank you for saying that about the connection. Yeah, it's huge and very meaningful, and I'm very grateful for it. I saw that you're off FB. Completely understandable. Whenever I do more than dip in there for a longish peek, I get the same ugh. Oh, god, yes, please do tell me/us what you think of the new Morris doc. I agree with you about his work and how it works, and I've always found his films fascinating to one degree or another. Cool, thank you so much, David! Have a great day, and take some love from me, please. ** Schlix, Uli! It's so great to see you, man! I was hoping someone would note the Vomir video. What a weird, charismatic clip that is, I think, and, yeah, I like his stuff in general, of course. The Halle trip was very productive. I hardly saw the city. I go back at the end of the month for two more days of rehearsals, and maybe I'll get some minutes to not be in the puppet theater from morning until night. Enjoy your vacation! That sounds really nice! Cool about the Bresson retrospective. Which films are you going to try to see? Take care, my friend! ** All right, that's that. Time to party down with Paul Curran and his mighty 'Left Hand'. Enjoy everything. Say anything. I will see you tomorrow.