Joseph presents ... HARRY POTTER AND THE XXX

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For reasons less noble than exploring the issues of freedom of speech explored on this website http://www.chillingeffects.org/ I recently came across the following open letter-like object from some asshole lawyers in London apparently addressed to some people writing some dirty shit about one legendary ‘airy po’a:

“Dear Sir:

Harry Potter adult fan fiction

We are a firm of solicitors (attorneys) in London. We have been consulted by our client Christopher Little Literary Agency, on behalf of Ms J. K. Rowling and by our client Warner Bros, in connection with the Harry Potter adult fan fiction and illustrations made available by you at URL http://www.psa.shadow-wrapped.net.

As you are aware, Ms Rowling is the author of the Harry Potter books. Ms. Rowling therefore owns the copyright in the Harry Potter books. The sexually explicit content of the fan fiction and illustrations available at www.psa.shadow-wrapped.net, which are plainly based on characters and other elements of the fictional world created by Ms. Rowling in the Harry Potter books, are a matter of serious concern to our client. In addition, our client Warner Bros, which owns the film and merchandising rights to the children's series of Harry Potter books, is concerned to protect the integrity of its Harry Potter properties. For the avoidance of doubt, our clients make no complaint about fan fiction written by genuine Harry Potter fans.

There is plainly a very real risk that impressionable children, who of course comprise the principal readership of the Harry Potter books, will be directed (e.g. by a search engine result) to your sexually explicit website, which you will appreciate most people would consider wholly inappropriate for minors. Plainly the warnings to the effect that children under 18 should not access your website do not in fact prevent minors from doing so. Indeed such warnings may well serve simply to entice teenagers to your site.

You have chosen to publish the material in question on the worldwide web where it may be seen by anyone with access to the internet. If you choose to publish to the world at large, then in our view you should conduct yourself accordingly. It is no answer to suggest that the fault lies with the children, or their parents, if they visit your website, whether they do so inadvertently or otherwise. We see no reason why online publishers should consider themselves relieved of the responsibilities and legal obligations accepted by publishers in every other medium, and the Courts of both England and Australia take the same view.

In the circumstances, our clients therefore request you to remove all such material and cease making it available lo the general public on the internet or by any other means. Would you please let us have your confirmation that you will do so by no later than 18:00 GMT on Wednesday, 29 January 2003.

Yours faithfully,

(private)”



Naturally, as any other reasonable person would do, I attempted to locate aforementioned fan fiction but could not. I guess the authors caved in under legal threat. Somewhat understandable and yet not. They probably could have tried for a freedom of speech case but Ms. Rowling, of course, is rich as fuck and people who are Rowling rich probably do not lose court cases. So, I sought out the following substitutes:

I’m sure everybody heard about Daniel Radcliffe getting naked in a play (pictured) but here are some choice comments from an article regarding the play on http://www.hecklerspray.com.





Pobetter says: 
 Thank Christ – an article about Equus that doesn’t contain lots of creepy references to a teenager’s penis. I mean it does, but given the amount of horse-eye xylophone references it sorta balances out


nikki says: 
U R WEIRD IF U DONT LIK HIS PENIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


S. Weasel says: Heh heh heh. Magical winky. Heh.


Jody says: 
This play sucks. It’s just an excuse to put an underage boy on display. Pedophiles rejoice!


georgia says: 
jody just be quiet their not Pedophiles
so shut up


marcian says: is harry a gay?
 


Michelle says: Seriously.
If people think this is “weird” what are you even on this site for?
If you don’t like it, so be it.
Award Winning Film. Award Winning Actor.
Daniel Radcliffe is an actor.
Not a porn star.
Get real people – It’s a PLAY.


JoelB says: Yes, it’s a play with full frontal under-age nudity.
I’m all for it! presuming he does have a winky.


carly8675309 says: he is so fucking hott!!!!!

holly says: so where is his dick?heyyyyyyyyyyyy
thats wat i wanted to see


There seems to be a pretty decent interest everywhere in the fuck-lives of Ms. Rowling’s characters, as represented on Youtube.








The guy in the latter video is clearly fake but there is some truth in his statements, considering Ms. Rowlings post-publishing/post making sweet sweet cash choice to make Professor Dumbledore a gay man.





People seem to be hot for all manner of Ms.Rowling’s characters. From Draco Malfoy to Luna Lovegood, here’s a sampling of some of the best internet Harry Potter fantasy out there.




Luna Lovegood.


SAMPLING FROM “MEGADEATH45’S “SEX ON THE HOGWARTS EXPRESS” from Fanfiction.net

Harry and Ron sat on one side, Luna and Ginny on the other, all in muggle wear. Harry and Ron wore bland t-shirts and jeans; Ginny with a bit more decorative a shirt, a matching skirt that ran to her knees, and nylons; Luna wore a bland shirt also, but a skirt a bit shorter, and nothing underneath. And the boys took notice. About fifteen minutes into the train ride, while talking about their hopes someone would come along and replace Snape. Harry's eyes were drifting back from the window when he noticed Luna's legs in a position that granted him a view of her trimmed pussy. He nudged lightly at Ron, and Ron nudged back, indicating he noticed it. Another five or so minutes passed of the conversation and casual glances at Luna's pussy in all it's glory before ol' Loony Luna casually threw in an, "Is my vagina really that nice"
The boys were, as they always were when Luna so casually mentioned something like that as if it were just an unimportant afterthought, speechless. They tried in vain to get a few words out, instead only failed attempts at speech escaping their twisted mouths.
Ginny and Luna laughed. "Well, if you're so speechless, I guess we won't have sex with you"




Draco and Harry.




Harry and (presumably) Hermoine.


A hardly sensible or grammatically accurate text advertisement to get us to join AdultEmpire.Com’s Harry Potter Member’s Only Section:

“Hot hot pic again! Usually Harry Potter nude actors go bored with their boring filming job and they are waiting anxiously for the long night to start with porn action. Evidently, Ginny that is on top of orgasm and doesn’t mind having one or maybe two huge dicks job her sex addicted cutie pot taking pleasure of being hardly raped with other Harry Potter nude heroes”




Ron Weasley and Harry.


From EW.com:

Why do you think the directors have sexed up the later Harry Potter movies? Are you fine with Rowling's interpretation of adult relationships in the Potterverse, or do you think the books should have gotten a little more complex? Are you baffled that the sex issue is actually an issue at all? Or do you think a more realistic depiction of teenage sexuality is necessary for the films to connect with audiences?

MORE:

http://community.livejournal.com/balloonstrings/423.html

http://harry-potter-nude.com/
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p.s. Hey. Today the splendiferous writer, critic, and d.l. Joseph forages through one of the Harry Potter mythology's tail winds on all of our behalves, so enjoy the breezes, etc. and tell Joseph what you're feeling in the comments section today if you feel like it, thank you. And thank you kindly, Joseph. Me: I'm either feeling very slightly better today or that's just wishful thinking, I can't tell yet. Happy April Fools Day and all that. ** David, Oh, that turned out just magnificently, sir. A total joy. Folks, as a kind of loose p.s. or after burn of the recent 'brush/ famous' SPD, our noble friend and colleague David has beautifully 'recounted' an encounter with the legendary Angus Wilson on his blog. Here's a taste: '... Sir Angus gave a reading one Thurday night. Craig and I decided to go and invited the smitten Scotty to join us." He sucks with absorbent lips", Craig had nicknamed him after a middle-of-the-night nude tussle in the flash of a dying fire ...', and here's the rest. So, go over there, shoo, be off with you. Oh, David, you mentioned Margaret Drabble. Are you a reader of hers? I ask because just yesterday I read about a novel by her that's either about a jigsaw puzzle or structured like a jigsaw puzzle or something. Does that ring a bell, and, if so, do you know if/think it's worth a read? ** Bernard Welt, Hey. Well, I really love movies that play games with the viewer. There are few bigger Resnais fans than me, just for instance, but, yeah, I just didn't find the game in the Polanski interesting, or, rather, I enjoyed the game while it was secretive much more than when it went on that high speed spurt of self-deconstruction towards the end. Anyway, like you said, taste's taste, basically. ** David Ehrenstein, Hey. It wasn't the car pursuit itself but rather the fact that, beginning with that scene, the film became too interested in revealing and resolving and tweaking plot twists and motivations and all that stuff for my taste. I just didn't buy them or care, and I liked the film a lot better when it was odd and tense and languorous, but, you know, that's my taste talking, I guess. Oh, fantastic about the Anna Karina interview! Wonderful! And it's very interesting to learn that the Godard feud stuff is mostly myth. That's certainly pleasing. Yeah, congrats to you and to her, David! ** Dan, Hey, Dan! More faintings? Wow. And even in Amsterdam? Well, hm, actually, that's not totally surprising. Anyway, cool, and congrats. I'll go seek out your email. I'm kind of under the weather with sickness, so I'm a bit slow, but I'll read and write to you soon. Thanks a zillion, Dan. ** Changeling, I'm totally in the 'clumsy is beautiful' camp, but, you're right, there has to be a sort of, hm ... je nais se quoi going on at the same time. Stoicism, invincibility are very good descriptions. I don't think the counterbalancing grace or reserve needs to be known or understood by the person being clumsy though, do you? More like a brilliant, revealing mistake or something. I have this thing for innocence, I guess. Bleeding profusely in public is intense, yeah. The discombobulation and shame it produces is really unique. And what it does to the people around you too. It's such a weird sensation that you might have to be hypnotized or something to really remember and relive the feeling it produces clearly. Or I don't know. That's probably just me. ** Jose, Hey, man. Nice to see you. Oh, well, awesome about that blog day. Thank you. Much, much appreciated. Very curious to see your new website and also any projects you're working on that end up being public. ** Steevee, Oh, well, then my consider my congrats re: the screeners shifted into a good luck, man. Mm, I don't think they have Coldcalm here. Really, they literally have almost no and maybe even no US medications, whether over the counter or prescription, available here in France at all. I can't think of one. ** _Black_Acrylic, Yeah, I mean, I guess the #1 reason to take the no-pay editing gig would be to get that editorship on your resume. There's logic to that idea. It's the workload that's the issue. Anyway, options open, absolutely. ** Little foal, Going vegan sounds good to me. I've been a vegetarian (lacto-ovo) since I was 16, and I've never had problems from that at all. I used to go pure vegan every couple of years to clean myself out, and it felt great. The problem was I'd get deathly skinny eventually and not in an attractive way, so I'd stop. Anyway, we have at least two vegans around here (Wolf and Mark Gluth), and maybe they'd pipe in if you need any tips or anything. xxoo, me. ** No more teenagekicks, Hey, Mark. Oh, that's cool, man. The weekend would be awesome. It's just super cool of you to do that. Anything you can say about your novel's progress? You know I'm over here chomping. ** The Dreadful Flying Glove, Yeah, when I was saying I liked TheBishop's smile, it was partly because it just seemed to know a lot. I could imagine a mastery of the comedic was responsible for its construction. It might be worth it to become his torturing master just to be able to be in the audience for his lexicon of double takes, witty ripostes, arch pleas, and so on. Oh, thank you deeply re: the SFA Day. No doubt in the entire world that I'm going to like it. 'Pornografia' is a terrific thing, I needn't tell you. I'll be curious to read your take on it. ** Justin, Wow, I can really almost picture the Vivisection jacket, and it sounds exquisite. Very nice description there. The frog/pins thing, whoa, very nice. ** Inthemostpeculiarway, My butts are almost stubs again. Hopefully, that means I'm getting better. Hm, I wonder if the bear is textured. Hope so. I'll bet. No, the 'Another Man' interview is magazine only. The issue's pretty good though. The other interviewees include Cronenberg, Noe, Jarmusch, Stephen King, and a bunch of other guys. It has Jack White on the cover if you're in a newsstand somewhere with spare dollars. What you say about Bendy isn't stalkerish at all. It's attentive, refined, and warm. I hope your wanting to cry wasn't a bad thing. I always enjoy that feeling when I want to cry or am about to. My day won't be a whole lot of much at all again, I'm afraid. I felt okayish for part of the afternoon. Enough to make me sad that none of my Recollets pals are in Paris right now to hang out with, even were they willing to risk being in my company at the moment. Oscar, Kiddiepunk, Scott, Paul ... all far, far away. All my theater friends too. So I worked mostly and not very well. Still, over the previous few days, I'd been very worried that my new novel is an unsalvageable disaster, and yesterday I decided that had been my sickness and crabby mood talking, and that it isn't so bad after all, just in need of a shitload of work. Uh, I walked outside at some point to buy food and medicines. Oh, at 3 pm I was interviewed via phone by one of this blog's d.l.s, Puella Aeterna, who coincidentally gave us the Elizabeth Young post yesterday. She interviewed me for the this website Ponystep. She's very cool and smart, of course, so the interview was interesting and fun, although I wish I'd felt a bit more healthy and completely on top my thoughts. Still, I think it was okay. That was day's highlight, I'm pretty sure. I ate stuff, smoked a little less than usual, started feeling sicker after nightfall, watched TV (can't remember what), and crashed, hoping I wouldn't wake up in the middle of the night again with a hacking cough. I did, but it only kept me awake for two hours, which was an improvement. So, that's it. I'm in need of your Thursday report now. ** Sypha, Hey. Oh, right, Easter. I keep forgetting it's almost Easter. Congrats on getting the best of it via those days off from work. Ha ha, why is the church so ugly in particular? I'm guessing it's like a newer style church with modern, anti-gothic architecture? Yeah, that's odd about that girl never responding to you. She must have really weird issues or something. I'm sure you're probably better off. ** Bill, Man, if you see this pre-departure, have the safest, smoothest, most interesting movie filled flight possible today, and check in here when you arrive and get a chance, yeah? Take good care until then, Bill. ** L@rstonovich, Man, that sounds like one sweet, non-boring trip you've got going on there. Should be solid, classic LA weather for you if my forecast widget is on the ball. What's this 'book club' at a bar thing? No, but I'd love to see that documentary on Helvetica. I'll search it out. Did I already ask you if you've seen the documentary about the mellotron? I read that it's great, and I'm a huge mellotron devotee/ fetishist, so I'm dying for that one. Safe travels south tomorrow, man, if I don't talk to you again before then. ** Math, Hi, pal. I'm angling to get the health thing in order in time for the theater thing. The last performance is on Saturday. I might have a shot. Love always to you too, maestro. ** Dorna, Hey, D! Yeah, if your visit over here can nick the run of our piece at Avignon, that'd be awesome, obviously. Oh, so you're still in the midst and heat of that film publicizing gig, eh? Well, I'm guessing her visit will form the peak of your workload at least, right? Then your bed can start giving you the lovin' you deserve. I already told you that tomorrow is the day I'm posting you-know-what here, right? I'm excited and so grateful. Lots of love from me. ** Bollo, Phew, close call on the job mishap. Or maybe not. I bet they really need you. You and nobody but you. I occasionally get into watching chef shows. There's a young, kind of superstar-ish French chef whose name I forget and who has a show here that's pretty watchable. He's kind of like a skinnier, slightly better looking, gay Tarantino with a floppy haircut. Otherwise, I guess the only real cooking show I was ever into heavily was a very gimmicky, campy one -- the original 'Iron Chef' -- so that doesn't count, I guess. ** Creative Massacre, Oh, I see about the catch. Still, you'd be in France, right? Anyway, yeah, tell me more when you're rested and non-busy and ready. ** Misanthrope, Actually, my shoe is untied. And, actually, I do have something on my shirt. Dried something from last night ... mustard, I guess. Yikes, man, about your grandma. Jesus Christ, that's like, whoa, I don't know. Well, you know what it's like, and I'm the one who doesn't, and I have to say I'm glad I'm an ignoramus on that front. Please tell me you're not going to spend today pulling April Fools pranks on her. ** Armando, Hey, Armando! It's always really good to see you, man. I think or I hope that I'm very, very gradually getting better, health-wise. I'll know better tomorrow. How are you doing? I'm really glad you like Zac German's novel. I love that book a ton. Take care, buddy. ** Okay, now it's you and the cast of the Harry Potter movies against the world until further notice. Take full advantage of this golden opportunity, and I'll see you in the morning.